chicanery

“Most gelati are of the dairy persuasion. Some, however, are water-based. Paciugo stocks a few of these at a time (for those watching their fat intake, or the lactose-intolerant), and it was from this section that I selected lime chia.

Yes, chia. As in the pet.

Who knew that chia is utilized much like flaxseed, as an omega-3 supplement? Not me, that’s for sure. I was expecting to undergo some sort of unusual distress a few hours after eating the lime chia gelato, like grass sprouting out of my eyeballs or something. But no, chia (Salvia hispanica) is a great source of antioxidants, fiber, and the aforementioned omega-3 fatty acids. Eyeball mowing not required.”—Kyle Nabilcy

» You will be given the tools to do this, and have an hour training so you know what you're doing. (Yes it only takes an hour to learn how to break into EVERY vehicle). THIS IS A VERY EASY JOB!

I’m eager to learn how to help distressed motorists AND prepare for the Grand Theft Auto reality show, but the gig almost sounds too good to be true!

» Saul Williams double-knots his Nikes, profit

Saul Williams… allowed consumers to select a free digital download or pay $5 for a higher quality version of the album. The result was a larger share of smaller sales. Williams sold 154,449 copies in roughly two months, with 28,322 of those copies being the $5 higher quality version. Then Nike called.

After Nike used “List of Demands,” a song from Williams’ self-titled 2004 album for its SPARQ advertisements, over 225,000 people downloaded NiggyTardust, and 60,000 paid for the $5 version.

dX repurposes a 2 month-old Ad Age post, itself a Tribune rehash, but new to me, etc.

Tomatoes plague coastie hair care

“I’m all disheveled now, without the tomato salsa and all”

At the State Street Chipotle, the salmonella scare take its toll, and a UW-Madison student struggles to complete her burrito bowl.

» UW seeks blogger

“This position will be high-profile, so this person must be able to reflect the missions of Wisconsin Public Radio and the University of Wisconsin as a responsible, informed ambassador….”

Could totally swing that for some health insurance, and a mass deletion of past posts, though I imagine UW HR isn’t so malleable on the matter of degreelessness as your average blogger-employer.

Would’ve headed down to apply for this, but my stylist was booked, and I couldn’t be expected to dress myself for a “casting call” and still look the peace-loving part. Chicagoist wonders if there’s “a VIP room where Wentz and his security can stomp a mudhole into the ass of anyone making sass about his new bride.”

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Among the many reasons I won’t be mad if I end up back in Chicago. [via Fake Shore Drive]

General rule: gigs that involve bylined publication will be linked ad nauseum. No inclination to blog out of school re: anything else that might keep me afloat, though I’ll make an exception if I wind up a barely-employed furry, begging University Bookstore for extra hours in the heat. My sweat glands are already plenty overtaxed.

Chad Vader in context.

“ I kept waiting for blast beats and arpeggiated lydian solos that sound like horses collapsing under the strain of…being horses, but it didn’t happen. Instead there are songs about sex and repping and other stuff that modern people do. Me, if it’s not about decomposing corpses and satan’s glory, I’m kind of immediately lost…. Speaking of people, the girl next to me on the lib. computer in the U of Michigan shirt smells really bad. Like somebody perhaps drizzled a little poop into her ears while she was sleeping.

— Lollipoop drizzle, the definitive Lil Wayne review.