chicanery

“Most gelati are of the dairy persuasion. Some, however, are water-based. Paciugo stocks a...

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 19:00:00 -0500

“Most gelati are of the dairy persuasion. Some, however, are water-based. Paciugo stocks a few of these at a time (for those watching their fat intake, or the lactose-intolerant), and it was from this section that I selected lime chia.

Yes, chia. As in the pet.

Who knew that chia is utilized much like flaxseed, as an omega-3 supplement? Not me, that’s for sure. I was expecting to undergo some sort of unusual distress a few hours after eating the lime chia gelato, like grass sprouting out of my eyeballs or something. But no, chia (Salvia hispanica) is a great source of antioxidants, fiber, and the aforementioned omega-3 fatty acids. Eyeball mowing not required.”—Kyle Nabilcy

You will be given the tools to do this, and have an hour training so you know what you're doing. (Yes it only takes an hour to learn how to break into EVERY vehicle). THIS IS A VERY EASY JOB!

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 12:13:00 -0500

You will be given the tools to do this, and have an hour training so you know what you're doing. (Yes it only takes an hour to learn how to break into EVERY vehicle). THIS IS A VERY EASY JOB!:

I’m eager to learn how to help distressed motorists AND prepare for the Grand Theft Auto reality show, but the gig almost sounds too good to be true!

Saul Williams double-knots his Nikes, profit

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 11:36:00 -0500

Saul Williams double-knots his Nikes, profit:

Saul Williams… allowed consumers to select a free digital download or pay $5 for a higher quality version of the album. The result was a larger share of smaller sales. Williams sold 154,449 copies in roughly two months, with 28,322 of those copies being the $5 higher quality version. Then Nike called.

After Nike used “List of Demands,” a song from Williams’ self-titled 2004 album for its SPARQ advertisements, over 225,000 people downloaded NiggyTardust, and 60,000 paid for the $5 version.

dX repurposes a 2 month-old Ad Age post, itself a Tribune rehash, but new to me, etc.

Tomatoes plague coastie hair care

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 00:54:00 -0500

“I’m all disheveled now, without the tomato salsa and all”

At the State Street Chipotle, the salmonella scare take its toll, and a UW-Madison student struggles to complete her burrito bowl.

UW seeks blogger

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 16:11:00 -0500

UW seeks blogger:

“This position will be high-profile, so this person must be able to reflect the missions of Wisconsin Public Radio and the University of Wisconsin as a responsible, informed ambassador….”

Could totally swing that for some health insurance, and a mass deletion of past posts, though I imagine UW HR isn’t so malleable on the matter of degreelessness as your average blogger-employer.

Would’ve headed down to apply for this, but my stylist was...

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 17:29:00 -0500

Would’ve headed down to apply for this, but my stylist was booked, and I couldn’t be expected to dress myself for a “casting call” and still look the peace-loving part. Chicagoist wonders if there’s “a VIP room where Wentz and his security can stomp a mudhole into the ass of anyone making sass about his new bride.”

Among the many reasons I won’t be mad if I end up back in...

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 15:50:04 -0500

Among the many reasons I won’t be mad if I end up back in Chicago. [via Fake Shore Drive]

General rule: gigs that involve bylined publication will be...

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 14:54:00 -0500

General rule: gigs that involve bylined publication will be linked ad nauseum. No inclination to blog out of school re: anything else that might keep me afloat, though I’ll make an exception if I wind up a barely-employed furry, begging University Bookstore for extra hours in the heat. My sweat glands are already plenty overtaxed.

Chad Vader in context.

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 12:23:00 -0500

Chad Vader in context.

"I kept waiting for blast beats and arpeggiated lydian solos that sound like horses collapsing under..."

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 00:29:00 -0500

“I kept waiting for blast beats and arpeggiated lydian solos that sound like horses collapsing under the strain of…being horses, but it didn’t happen. Instead there are songs about sex and repping and other stuff that modern people do. Me, if it’s not about decomposing corpses and satan’s glory, I’m kind of immediately lost…. Speaking of people, the girl next to me on the lib. computer in the U of Michigan shirt smells really bad. Like somebody perhaps drizzled a little poop into her ears while she was sleeping.”

- Lollipoop drizzle, the definitive Lil Wayne review.

TRENDY: a word used to describe your bar/neighborhood that...

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 22:29:00 -0500

TRENDY: a word used to describe your bar/neighborhood that announces it’s not, the way “cultured” craigslist personal ads are more likely to snag yogurt fiends than opera lovers.

VIA: Craigslist ad seeking a paid marketing intern posted by Chicago restaurant/bar group Eat Well, Drink Better. No, I didn’t apply, but probably should’ve.

Wale’s Mixtape about Nothing: for hip-hop’s...

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 21:17:00 -0500

Wale’s Mixtape about Nothing: for hip-hop’s not-so-fresh feeling. That “premium denim” nonsense is partially redeemed by the monologue swiped for “The Hype”: “that’s kind of the job of clothes—to get compliments for us. Because it’s very hard to get compliments based on your human qualities… it’s much easier to be a bastard and just try and match the colors up.”

Was poking around Hiebing’s portfolio and noticed that a...

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 14:25:00 -0500

Was poking around Hiebing’s portfolio and noticed that a site the Madison marketing and advertising agency designed for Eastpak—a sort of think globally, shop locally tangent—featured the ceiling-scraping inventory of B-Side, the venerable State Street record shop.

"Financial Precipitation: Get Into It"

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 12:28:41 -0500

The Internets Celebrities let the singles fly.

Rap man bags for the MC who brought you 'Cats Van Bags'

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 12:17:00 -0500

Murs adds letter E to name, to become Murse, the first rapper handbag. (That one never got much further than that. We just thought it would be funny to say that Slug would literally be carrying Murs for the next Felt album). [SOG]

Never got around to the resumé post, “Hastings Cameron is applying for an SEO-centric writing gig so he can afford to re-register hastingscameron.com”—which would’ve been inaccurate, since pier-painting lucre will hopefully meet GoDaddy’s demands. Though now that there are new designer accessories to aspire to, I really should find full-time employment. If only this were a less desperately self-involved enterprise, and someone else loved me enough to pimp me to craigslist: *****I AM RENTING OUT MY BOYFRIEND*****

"All of those 88 era rappers were fly and the Cool Kids know that. But they also had a lot to say and..."

Thu, 29 May 2008 17:23:00 -0500

“All of those 88 era rappers were fly and the Cool Kids know that. But they also had a lot to say and said it in a way that made audiences give a shit about the world around them in addition to looking fly and getting girls. The same way that it can be argued that the backpacker click of the late 90’s was all-content and no-style, it’s obvious that these retro-rappers only understand half of what makes their old favourites so special. Even if it’s the half you can dance to.”

- Sach O @ Oh Word:“It takes a nation of haircuts to hold us back”

When I went to Medicine Park, I also met Derek, who painted...

Thu, 29 May 2008 02:13:00 -0500

When I went to Medicine Park, I also met Derek, who painted cockeye-cropped Eazy but is not the person above. Derek also sometimes tours with bands and sells ice cream cones to their fans. His merch table is here.

SEO Appetizer: Hastings Cameron lived in Wisconsin for a while, wrote a bit about food and beer, but curiously, never about beer-battered fish fry

Thu, 29 May 2008 01:25:00 -0500

Hastings Cameron interviewed Neeta Saluja re: her book Six Spices: A Simple Concept of Indian Cooking for the Onion’s Madison A.V. Club. The Q&A’s mostly about “gastric discontent” and exploding pressure cookers.

“If it sits too long, they’ll run out of sugar and cannibalize themselves.” Last summer, Hastings Cameron binged on wheat beers and sort of anthropromorphized hefeweizen yeast in the process of writing about it for the A.V. Club.

This past winter, Hastings Cameron may have projected seasonal depression onto porters and stouts in a piece he cowrite with the saintly, and not quite so soused, local A.V. Club editor.

Consider Black Boss Porter, a Baltic import, as a malt liquor dessert substitute. It’s caramel-coffee notes completely cover up its 9.4% ABV—stronger than Olde English and Steel Reserve—and 16 oz. single bottles go for $1.79 at Woodman’s [grocery]. Grab two, and leisurely sip on a toasty stairwell. No need to rush: unlike your average 40 oz., porters don’t take like piss after they warm up.

For the dark roundup above, he also interviewed the eponymous brewmaster responible for his favorite Wisconsin porter, who offered food pairing suggestions.

H.C.: You said it goes well with food—what would you pair it with?

Tom Porter: Oh, red meat—absolutely. Steak with onions and mushrooms kinda thing—a really nice piece of steak, not overcooked. Remembering that it’s basically an Irish derivative beer. You’re looking at people with a fairly hard work ethic, meat and potatoes lifestyle, for food.

H.C.: But could they really afford red meat?

Tom Porter: Well I don’t know—[you] know, rats and squirrels are red meat.

He also wrote a guide to ignoring the game and turning the neighborhood around the University of Wisconsin football stadium into one’s personal concession stand:

If you have a nut allergy, seek out Stella’s, which recently supplemented its farmer’s market presence with a stand near Camp Randall’s southwest corner. The bakery’s Hot and Spicy Cheese Bread sounds one “y” short of a Little Caesar’s special, but it tastes like a wondrous 24oz spicy challah roll, packing a monterrey jack and provolone paunch, which will absorb incipient hangovers, but could also be used to smuggle a flask into the game.

Arbitrage with your gut: the guy with a Bluetooth headset frantically trying to flip tickets isn’t the only seller subject to dramatic declines in value as the day progresses. After the Indiana game, [this publication] passed a stand operated by an East High “Activities Committee” and couldn’t resist the clarion call of “clearance brats!” If you fast throughout the game, naming your own price will never be sweeter, or greasier.

[turn down your volume] Just returned from an interview that...

Wed, 28 May 2008 21:18:00 -0500

[turn down your volume]

Just returned from an interview that concluded:

“Do you want me to send you some links to substantiate that?”

“No, I believe you—and google is a powerful thing.”

So please excuse, or at least ignore, the subsequent exercise in search engine optimization. It will be mercifully brief, and over by morning. For new readers’ amusement, above is audio of me badgering a Madison WI politician (County Supervisor) about his google alert habit: “it wasn’t narcissism, it was just finger, pulse! Finger in the air, know where the wind’s blowing.”

…and laptop meltdowns that send me to Kinko’s last...

Tue, 27 May 2008 23:23:00 -0500

…and laptop meltdowns that send me to Kinko’s last too long—so after relieving my folks’ fridge of turkey bacon in the past couple days, I’ll soon be eating Scion SPAM for naught.